YES to Everything

One of my favorite Buddhist teachers, Cheri Huber, always says that whole purpose of committing to something is to watch what happens when you either do it or don’t do it.

What you actually DO is not so much the point; the point is noticing the process.  When you can sit, compassionately observing all the parts of you that show up and make hay about what you did or did not do, THEN those parts of you can start to open up to the possibility of lasting transformation. Otherwise, have fun fighting with all of them!

So how DO you “sit compassionately” with 20 thousand different thoughts & voices in your head without getting bogged down?  One thought at a time.

I have a process called “The YES Meditation”, and it really helps me go from a place of pain and suffering to a place of compassion and transformation. It’s great for any time you have you have strong emotion or circular thoughts.

The YES Meditation

Start with the thing you are most acutely aware of. So if you are aware that you are beating yourself up, or that you are judging someone, or that you are angry, say, “Yes to this beating myself up.” “Yes to this judgment.” “Yes to this anger.”

“What? I don’t want to say yes to that!”

I know!  We usually try to get ourselves to NOT feel or think those things!  And that is exactly what is so powerful about this exercise.  Even when we TRY to get ourselves not to feel something, the truth is, that feeling does not actually go away. It is just repressed, and then you have another layer of crap to deal with!

When we say YES, we are just giving ourselves permission to experience what IS happening (whether we like it or not), so we can move on to what’s underneath that, and underneath that, and…and so on.

So start with the obvious things, see what arises next, and say YES to each one.

So, for example, if I am beating myself up, I might say, “Yes to this beating myself up.  Yes to the pain that I feel.  Yes to the little child inside me who feels like she can never do anything right.  Yes to loving her even when she feels unworthy.  Yes to the tears that come when I do that.” I just keep following the thoughts and saying yes until the tension in my body and mind are discharged.

Emotions are happening all the time, so the more you do this, the better you will get at releasing them and not hanging on.  And the more you release the feelings, the easier it is to not judge yourself and get right back on the commitment horse when you fall off.

I am committed to keep recommitting, without shame, every time I fail to keep my commitments.  What are you committed to?